Prude or Vixen?

My youngest daughter, age 17, is a prude. Not just a prude but an ultra prude. I haven't been allowed in a department store dressing room with her since she was 8. I haven't seen her naked since she was 7. Talk of bodily functions? Forget it. If the kid were being rushed to the emergency room in an ambulance, she wouldn't tell the emts the last time she went pooh. I have never heard her fart, ever, I don't think she does. You get the picture.

I took the 2 female sappers-of-my-youth to lunch and during our discussion of books, I said to the eldest, "You wouldn't like that other book I picked up, it had S&M in it."

"What's S&M?"

As I start giving her the watered down, in public, PG-13, generalized definition of sado-masochism, the Prude sticks her fingers in her ears, as usual, and starts, "La la la la."

"Oh, yeah, I saw something like that on the Playboy channel one night," says the Eldest casually.

More "La la la la" from the Prude.

"It was called 'Men In Bondage'."

The Prude's ears perk up and she looks up from her salad, "Men in bondage?" A grinch-like grin forms and there is a definite twinkle in her eye, "I never thought of that!"

Should I be worried? Am I going to come home one day to find the boyfriend shackled to the wall in a makeshift dungeon in my basement? It could be worse, I guess, Em could be the M.

Breaking a Boob Man

Doesn't he look all sweet and innocent snuggled up sleeping next to Emily?Well he isn't. He comes over to you all sweet-like with this exact expression on his face as if to say, "Please, just one little pat on the head."

Then, the minute you raise your arm to pet him, exposing the left one, he sees his opening and...bloop!...bloop! He bounces your boob with his nose before you know what has hit you. He always does it twice, I guess in case he misses the first time.

You're left shaking your head wondering, "Was I just molested by that dog?"

The question is...how do I break him of it? Screaming and smacking him on the snout certainly isn't working. If he doesn't quit knocking knockers, he is going to need rescued again!

Thank You Mrs. Parks

I have to give a big, fat Thank-you to Mrs. Parks at www.theparksfarm.com for the new blog layout. Isn't she talented and generous? She is also very "SWEET!"
(Visit www.winsweetstuff.com for the sweet reference.)