NO EXCUSES SUNDAY
To make it possible for everyone to attend church Sunday, we are having a special "No Excuse Sunday".
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say that Sunday is their only day to sleep in.
There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who say that the pews are too hard for them to sit on.
Doctors and nurses will be here for people who are planning to be sick on Sunday.
The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.
ADAM AND EVE
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, "What's wrong, Adam?"
Adam said that he didn't have anyone to talk to, so God announced he was going to make for him a companion. It would be called a woman.
"A woman?"Adam asked.
Then God described her, "She will be someone to cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to care for them. This woman will not nag you and will always be the first to admit when she is wrong. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and compassion whenever you need it."
"What is she going to cost me, God?" Adam asked.
"An arm and a leg," God responded.
Adam thought a moment and asked, "What can I get for just a rib?"
The rest is history.