Friday, March 6, 2009

Kiosk Hawkers

Let's go to the mall. It is such a nice day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it is warm outside for a change. Let's go walk around the mall. We can hold hands and sip Starbucks, stretch our legs, get a little exercise, have an enjoyable and relaxing afternoon...NOT!

What you get now when you try to do a little mallwalking is hawked at like you're a sailor with 2 day pass on shore leave in Taiwan, "Hey Joe, two dolla, two dolla."

What is supposed to be a day of window shopping and, "Look at that little outfit, I can't wait until we have a grandbaby we can buy one of those."

Has turned into, "Just ignore him, pretend like you don't hear him."

What used to be, "Isn't that table setting at Williams-Sonoma Home just beautiful?"

Has turned into, "Don't make eye contact with her!"

Remember the days when the biggest concern during a good, old-fashioned, mallwalk was whether or not you were going to be able to avoid the temptation while passing by the window of the Godiva Chocolate store?

Now it is, "Cross over! Cross over! He can't get to us on that side!"

Nothing like trying to have a conversation and having, "Excuse me, Sir! Miss!" yelled at you every few feet. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Makes you want to return to the mall real soon.

What's next? A happy ending at the 5-minute massage?


  1. We'll have to get used to greener places again. Taking a walk in a park or forest is probably better for our nerves as well as our wallets.
    Getting nervous like that causes more damage than an hour of beauty sleep can fix. Take it easy...

  2. i can't even remember the last time I was in a mall, but I imagine all those store sre really starting to feel a squeeze.
    I'm with Minka, a walk on the beach or in the park sounds WAY better :)

  3. hey there! I'm glad you want to be a part of funnyredheads... I'm still ironing out the kinks of how it will all work, so shoot me an email to and I'll email you back when we're ready to get going.


  4. Funny, but I have to say that a mallwalk is probably the last thing on earth I want to do, the crowds, the queues, the noise, but, I'll let you do that if that's what you want!

  5. I don't go to the mall much ( we don't have one here in our town) but at Christmas we do go to one, and we are approached by these people and i HATE and DREAD it.
    Yes, you are right. It totally SUCKS!

  6. Lol!
    Cute banner!

  7. I really hate those people from that Dead Sea place always wanting to rub that stinky lotion on you. YUK! My daughter and I always go out of our way to avoid them. One time a lady I knew worked at one of those places and if you stopped to chat you could never get away. If she was there and I needed to get to the other end of the mall, I would exit and drive around to the other side just to avoid her. Isn't that terrible.

  8. LOL at "happy ending".

    Just start speaking to 'em in a made up language, show 'em your wallet, give 'em the finger and walk off.

    It's real satisfying.


If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. No need to point out my mistakes, I have family for that.